We sit down with Leeann, a solo adopter supported by St. David’s, who graciously shares her story. Her reflections provide invaluable insights into the adoption journey and the transition to single parenthood, highlighting the unique challenges and rewards that come with parenting solo.
Q: In what ways has St. David’s Adoption Service assisted you in formulating contingency plans for times when both you and your child are unwell, and how do they promote self-care during those periods?
A: St. David’s has been instrumental in guiding me through tough times, especially when illness strikes. They emphasised the importance of self-care and encouraged me to lean on my support network during challenging moments. Additionally, they helped me create contingency plans, so I felt better prepared to handle situations where both my child and I were unwell. Their focus on self-care made a huge difference in keeping my balance during those stressful periods.
Q: How has St. David’s Adoption Service helped you address moments when your child desires another parent, and what strategies have they provided to reinforce the strength of your familial bond?
A: There have been times when my child has expressed a desire for another parental figure. St. David’s offered a safe, non-judgemental space to discuss those moments, reassuring me of the love and stability I provide as a sole caregiver. With their support, I’ve learned effective ways to reinforce our bond and ensure my child always feels loved and secure. Their guidance has helped me navigate those moments with confidence.
Q: Could you share any resources or guidance from St. David’s Adoption Service that have aided you in preserving personal time and identity amidst the demands of single parenthood, including techniques for finding moments of solace in your daily routine?
A: There was a particularly challenging time when my child was seven, and both her schoolwork and behaviour were suffering. She began having recurring bad dreams and sleep disturbances, and as a single parent, I found it difficult to maintain my own well-being. It felt like I was constantly trying to hold everything together, and it became increasingly difficult to pinpoint the source of her distress.
While waiting for NHS referrals for neurodiversity assessments, St. David’s stepped in and arranged two virtual sessions with a psychologist. Despite never meeting my child in person, the psychologist seemed to intuitively understand what she was going through. These sessions were both emotional and enlightening. The psychologist provided actionable insights and strategies that made a dramatic difference in my child’s well-being. Surprisingly, we didn’t need any further NHS interventions, and I gained a deeper understanding of my child’s unique needs.
St. David’s also encouraged me to prioritise self-care, and they offered practical ways to carve out personal time, which was invaluable. Small acts of self-care, like reading quietly or enjoying a peaceful cup of coffee before the school run, became vital rituals that helped me preserve my sanity amid the challenges of single parenthood.
Overall, St. David’s unwavering support and guidance during those uncertain times helped me feel less alone. Their presence ensured there was always someone willing to listen, offer advice, and provide assistance, making my journey as a solo adopter far more manageable.
Author: Shaun Houcke
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