Finding the Right Path to Parenthood
For Damian and his partner, the decision to adopt was shaped by both practical considerations and a deep sense of purpose.
“Being two dads, the options for starting a family were limited,” Damian explains. “In some ways, this made the decision easier for us — we knew our options were adoption or surrogacy.”
For the couple, adoption stood out for two key reasons. “Firstly, we wanted to be completely equal as parents, without one of us being biologically connected while the other wasn’t,” Damian shares. “Secondly, we knew there were so many wonderful children out there who needed a loving family, and we felt we had more than enough love to give.”
With their hearts set on adoption, they reached out to St David’s Adoption Service to begin their journey.
Navigating Challenges as LGBTQ+ Adopters
Although same-sex adoption has become increasingly common, Damian acknowledges that the process can still come with moments of self-doubt.
“Sadly, despite the growing number of LGBTQ+ adopters, parenting is still often seen through a heterosexual lens — whether that’s in advertising, the media, or even people’s unconscious biases,” Damian reflects.
When those moments of doubt surfaced, Damian found comfort in open conversations with their social worker.
“Those feelings are normal — but talking them through is key. St David’s has worked with so many LGBTQ+ adopters, and they’re well equipped to support you. Their buddy scheme was invaluable to us,” Damian says.
Through this scheme, the couple was introduced to other same-sex parents who had lived experience to share. “It was brilliant to connect with people who understood what we were going through and could offer practical advice grounded in real life,” he adds.
Being Open with the Adoption Agency
When it came to discussing their LGBTQ+ identity during the adoption assessment, Damian emphasises the importance of honesty.
“We were just very open from the start, and I think that really put everyone at ease,” he explains. “The assessment process is deeply reflective — it’s designed to explore who you are, your relationship, and your ability to provide a stable and loving home. It’s all about finding the right match for both you and the child.”
By embracing this openness, Damian and his partner found they could relax into the process and even find joy in the journey.
Creating an Inclusive Environment at Home
For Damian, building a home where their children feel secure, represented, and loved has been an ongoing priority.
“There are so many amazing resources available now — we’ve collected several age-appropriate books that explore same-sex families, race, and gender equality,” Damian explains.
He also highlights the positive impact of increased representation in media. “TV and film have become brilliant tools for normalising diverse family structures. Screen time isn’t the enemy — sometimes it’s a blessing when you just need five minutes to drink your coffee in peace!” he jokes.
Crucially, Damian encourages parents to be open to their children’s questions.
“Kids are naturally curious, and they’re constantly trying to make sense of the world around them. We make sure nothing’s off the table — if we don’t know the answer, we find out together. That openness has helped our children feel confident in who they are.”
Building a Support Network
For Damian and his partner, connecting with other LGBTQ+ families has been invaluable.
“We’re lucky to have built a brilliant network of other same-sex parents with adopted children,” he says. “Many of these friendships were made through St David’s, and it’s been so reassuring to know we’re not alone — there are more of us than you might think, and once you’re part of that community, it’s incredible how visible it becomes.”
Inspiring Future LGBTQ+ Adopters
Reflecting on their journey, Damian offers reassurance to LGBTQ+ individuals considering adoption.
“There’s a place for your family — and there are agencies like St David’s who genuinely want you to succeed,” he says. “Our experience has been overwhelmingly positive, and I’d encourage anyone thinking about adoption to take that first step. You might be surprised at just how supported you’ll feel.”
Damian’s story is a powerful reminder that while the journey to adoption may bring challenges, it’s also filled with joy, growth, and love — with support every step of the way.
Author: Shaun Houcke
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